Rainy Days

Well it has certainly been a little while since I posted last. This month has been a month of figuring out balance in my new life. I am still very happy in my new home, work is going well, but I have had to miss a few auditions due to work/life stuff... I am imagining this is a common issue for many other actors here in the city. After updating my planner and sketching out next week I am determined again to prioritize auditions. It's simply a new level of organization for me- which I do love. I like for everything I do to have been my best. I am working in a restaurant and also picking up another restaurant gig for more financial comfort. It is actually quite a large task to learn a new restaurant's menu, wine, cocktails, deserts, quirks, coworkers, customers, etc. I like to do a good job too... so all of those things require time and hard work. The original restaurant I've been working for has started to become more comfortable and my shifts are less stressful and running smoothly. Once you know the restaurant everything gets easier... but I do realize this new place is going to take up some time for me. I am going to dance classes and studying my vocals regularly so I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. It's good to keep checking in and reviewing the days and make sure I am still going in the direction I want. As I get to know more people here I am also spending more time socially which I think is really important and nice. What kind of artist are you if you never leave the house or work? Not a very good one. So again, it's all about balance and organization. You can get everything done- even though it's hard. I am obsessed with my planner... I notice that when I let my planner go I feel completely out of control.

In other news: I finally got my LaDuca's! They are beautiful, soft, and fit me perfectly. I have been looking forward to walking into that shop and purchasing my first pair for years. I tried on almost every pair they had and decided on the T-Strap Teresa shoe. They make my feet look the best and there's complete freedom in them. I can't wait to audition in them next!

Last night I was a little sad. Feeling a little overwhelmed and concerned about everything. I decided to be gentle with myself, sleep well and worry about things in the morning. I feel much more peaceful now. It's beautiful outside my window, raining. It's always nice to write and drink coffee in bed hearing the rain. I've also been thinking about my parents a lot. I keep thinking about them here in New York. I get the slightest pang of jealousy when others tell me their parents are in town visiting. I am also happy for them- but it's frustrating sometimes. I imagine going to see a show with Mom and Dad and what it would be like to go out for cocktails after. Having an adult relationship with my parents is nice to think about. As the holidays approach I know there will be a certain pain I haven't felt in a while... I'm anticipating it. I guess it helps to be aware.

Despite some sadness I am feeling good. It's crazy... but my home is amazing. I never could have imagined a more lovely little apartment for me here. It's my little hidden gem plopped in a quiet neighborhood most young white women don't know about :) It goes without saying how amazing it is to have a place to go when the outside world is so harsh. New York is beautiful but it is also dirty, complicated, and smelly. Coming home at the end of the day to my beautiful tiny bedroom is incredible.

I am praying and thinking of the wonderful people in my life. I hope you're all well and having a good Friday! "Life is a gift. Wake up everyday and realize that."

-Is